I struggled to learn in my own skin than the maximum uki courage for me was holding uki my fear, being with him when he went to my body without using it as fuel for an anxious on an episode this in my life fantasy, without running away from it forward by becoming a heroine who faced all problems with an excess of adrenaline. I had to go through just there when the structures where I thought sosterme began to disappear. I made them disappear when they revealed their lies, had alleged fraud and what truly hidden: a strategic escape from everything that mattered to my heart and above all the responsibility to hear and heed.
Now that I write, I feel a slight frustration and desire to leave this text I've started writing. Inhabiting uki frustration without escapes is another of my daily work and again manifests at this moment. To create something new I have to empty myself, a few layers separated me from that creative emptiness, really encounter frustrated and I realize that what I write I do not like or is not making me feel my favorite emotions such as joy, gratitude, tenderness ... unlike me feel hard inside uki like a dry stick ... in my imagination a dead tree appears, one that I planted and dried, it was a paradise and planted in the limestone that seems to only want to olive and carob, gorse, mastic, thyme ... it seems that only welcomes his family, much as I strive in my landscape planning.
And in my fantasy this gives me an effect, frees me chest and my breathing becomes more breadth, I realize something of a question what is the land that receives me, for me to blossom in my potential, like a tree that needs to stand out of place in his own country? and I realize an answer ...
I imagine that the tree paradise I planted, had to get very anxious when months passed, even years and did not grow, their branches and leaves are not expanded, not took his place on earth, they not conquered his roots wet depths.
I am a dry tree I planted in a land that is not mine, that was never my home, much as I wanted ... was preparing a nursery long time to root it out into the world and anywhere, I prepared all my resources survival, I received all the necessary nutrients uki from the outside uki in large doses, until I discovered that these external contributions made me dependent and was disoriented to find my place in the world ... now I'm standing in a land that sustains uki me and I am frightened because they do not know what to do-say paradise
'Nothing to do, just be present in what is in you ... if there is fear, stay with that, from this point it is only possible to re-orientate accepting where you are. If this place is fear, it is shame, uki if a sense of failure ... this is the step that puts you back in your direction, so if you deny this step, you rebel, reject it because you do not like to feel fear, live your vulnerability ... you immobilize you yourself towards uki the ground you will flourish ... Need your inner compass at its maximum use and for this you have to listen. If you refuse to feel what you feel ... you get lost, you stray, you stay in a land that sustains you, you're subject to external structures that do not belong, you do not support, who do not feed ... that distract you from your real boost, preventing you receive your own support, your country ...
You know I walk lost a long time, this caused me episodes of fear, doubt, anxiety, sadness ... and how curious I could only regain my bearings uki when I attended all those emotions, I'm only brave when my fear habit when he I give a place in my infinite inner space, when I share with him my house and leave a room to live and express, when I become the hostess and I'll take care of all the experiences that emerge in me and I waive find called safety, outside my. Then I am my own land.
internal Masters
Small pink, small pink, sometimes tiny and naked, it seems that in one of my hands you fit, so I'll shut you down and take you to my mouth, but suddenly my feet touch your feet and my mouth your lips, you've grown up your shoulders like two hills, your breasts wander over my chest, my arm is barely enough to surround the thin line of new moon to have your waist: in love like sea water you've unleashed: I measure just the most extensive eyes of heaven and I bow to your mouth to kiss the ground.
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